FEAR

Fear of not being taken seriously. Fear of freedom and fear of light. Fear of being superfluous. Fear that you won’t love your enemy. Fear of not loving and fear of not loving enough. Fear that what you love will prove inconsequential. Fear of death. Fear of running out of time. Fear of things left unsaid. Fear of being forgotten. Fear that your transformation has gone unnoticed. Fear that you won’t be fully recognized. Fear that they won’t understand what all the fuss is about. Fear that you are too late. Fear that you never arrived.   With sincerity, effort,…

Recovery & Stigma​

I am a recovering alcoholic living with depression, generalized anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder. This is not news, but it has been a long time since I have written directly on the topic so I thought I would refresh your memory. My sobriety date is February 11, 2014, and I am without relapse, slip, or any other reference to the use of mind-altering drugs. I lead a fulfilling life with a loving family and a fellowship of people I would do most anything for. I am honest, dependable, thoughtful, compassionate, and spend most of my time of service to others…

I am one, and they are all

I know I cannot help it Someone asks me what the cost is, I close my eyes, relax my hands and stop What change did you expect? A search is on and you can’t get away from it. Ain’t that a six-inch stone in your wheel? Don’t you get the shakes when it’s gotten too late and the brakes on your door aren’t working? And the stove coils in your head are heating up an’ burning So you curse yourself and you assume someone out there is tricking you, someone out there is kicking you. That someone is caring too…

Death of a relationship | Continue

If I should be brought before you And am asked to skim the trees To recollect my fondest thoughts Amid a wasteland of memories I should dig deep the shallow trenches I will seek out every eye For my past bear’s strong resemblance To the ones I stand before And I will know a soft resistance As I push off from the shore I wonder how all of this will come to pass; How you and I will remember one another. I don’t sit with this for very long, for I know where my mind often leads me. I do…