FEAR

Fear of not being taken seriously. Fear of freedom and fear of light. Fear of being superfluous. Fear that you won’t love your enemy. Fear of not loving and fear of not loving enough. Fear that what you love will prove inconsequential. Fear of death. Fear of running out of time. Fear of things left…

Recovery & Stigma​

I am a recovering alcoholic living with depression, generalized anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder. This is not news, but it has been a long time since I have written directly on the topic so I thought I would refresh your memory. My sobriety date is February 11, 2014, and I am without relapse, slip, or…

Death of a relationship | Continue

If I should be brought before you And am asked to skim the trees To recollect my fondest thoughts Amid a wasteland of memories I should dig deep the shallow trenches I will seek out every eye For my past bear's strong resemblance To the ones I stand before And I will know a soft…

MY HEART

"There are two things children should get from their parents: roots and wings." — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe I don't deserve to have the mother I do. I don't mean that in a self-deprecating way; Rather I find my mother to be such a rarity that it doesn't seem fair to others that I ended…

My Balancing Act

"If the world were to end tomorrow would you get wasted?" That was the question that got the table laughing and got a resounding "yes" in response from the others. I had just finished chairing a meeting at Bellevue hospital, speaking to those still in the terrifying grips of this illness so the others would…