Recovery & Stigma​

I am a recovering alcoholic living with depression, generalized anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder. This is not news, but it has been a long time since I have written directly on the topic so I thought I would refresh your memory. My sobriety date is February 11, 2014, and I am without relapse, slip, or any other reference to the use of mind-altering drugs. I lead a fulfilling life with a loving family and a fellowship of people I would do most anything for. I am honest, dependable, thoughtful, compassionate, and spend most of my time of service to others…

Death of a relationship | Continue

If I should be brought before you And am asked to skim the trees To recollect my fondest thoughts Amid a wasteland of memories I should dig deep the shallow trenches I will seek out every eye For my past bear’s strong resemblance To the ones I stand before And I will know a soft resistance As I push off from the shore I wonder how all of this will come to pass; How you and I will remember one another. I don’t sit with this for very long, for I know where my mind often leads me. I do…

MY HEART

“There are two things children should get from their parents: roots and wings.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe I don’t deserve to have the mother I do. I don’t mean that in a self-deprecating way; Rather I find my mother to be such a rarity that it doesn’t seem fair to others that I ended up with her as my mother. Such is life I suppose, and instead of feeling guilt I am grateful to have this rarity in my life. I have always been a lot like my mother, the first similarity being our birthday. I often speak of our most…

Now is When the Sun Shines Brightest

“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky  Lately, things have been going well. I am turning 32 sometime this afternoon, and I have no idea what to say. I have no idea where I am going and no news on tomorrow. What fascinates me is that even though I have no certainties in my life, I am completely calm. I write, and I do volunteer work – I am not ashamed of my life today, nor should I be. What I have found interesting is that throughout my entire life I always presented…

(un)comfortable

How does one change? Others often tell me how much I have changed. There has been a swift change in my perspective – an occurrence that ‘s hard to explain. I believe that to make radical changes in my life I had to make radical changes! It sounds simple, or at least, it seems simple. What is not so surprising is that in the past whenever I had claimed that I wanted to change something in my life I had always tried to find the easiest way to change. I was convinced, somehow, that I could make changes in my life by putting in…

Time To Move On

My bags are packed. Everything is set for my move from downtown Manhattan to Brooklyn early tomorrow morning. I feel a little lost. I spent this past weekend in the Pocono Mountains camping with 200 others. It was an incredible weekend of recovery, new friendships and new direction. The first night I felt a little off. I wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe it was just a little anxiety from the trip. Perhaps I was a bit intimidated by the large group of people, most of whom I didn’t know. So during a campfire meeting I shared something with these 200…