Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.
| Fyodor Dostoyevsky
The first essay, “SEAT 4D | ROW 1” was written as a way to distract me from having a full-fledged panic attack on a flight home to New York City from my hometown of Houston, Tx. And it worked! I published the article on each social media platform of mine, and people seemed to identify with how I felt.
I share my fears, anxieties, and confusion with you because I no longer want to hide. Most issues that I will discuss and address herein make people uncomfortable and are generally thought of embarrassing matters that are best kept hidden. Perhaps you yourself would sooner disguise some struggle you are facing to avoid any feelings of embarrassment or shame, and you may feel you are successful at hiding certain aspects of yourself. You may consider that when one is hidden one cannot be helped, nor can they be of use to others. Suffering in silence only increases the suffering and confounds those who care for the sufferer; It is an unhealthy way to cope with life. I hope to show that there is no weakness in admitting and confronting one’s shortcomings, there is a strength! My struggle and experience are well-documented within.
Though the ideas and style of my essays have matured, the core beliefs, all learned and borrowed knowledge, remains virtually unchanged. The more I create and write the further I trudge into my insecurities, my private life. I write candidly, honestly, and hopefully in a way that flows well and is easy for the reader to grasp. My work and understanding must be thorough or else I lose balance in life. I write to exercise my mind; I am fascinated by the human mind and motivated by an intense compassion and concern for others.
I have accepted that this life is a challenge, it is difficult, and there are no maps. I have accepted that most of this world is beyond my comprehension and, even more, is out of my control. Through my essays, I will continue to illustrate and investigate methods of relinquishing the human will, freeing me from self-will, and releasing the desire for control & power. I will continue to share personal stories so that others may relate, as well as pursuing more intellectual discussions.