I am one, and they are all

I know I cannot help it Someone asks me what the cost is, I close my eyes, relax my hands and stop What change did you expect? A search is on and you can’t get away from it. Ain’t that a six-inch stone in your wheel? Don’t you get the shakes when it’s gotten too late and the brakes on your door aren’t working? And the stove coils in your head are heating up an’ burning So you curse yourself and you assume someone out there is tricking you, someone out there is kicking you. That someone is caring too…

Seeing Through the Fire

If you are anything like me you like to ask questions that are beyond our comprehension such as What is the meaning of life? Or Why am I here and what is my purpose? There is no satisfaction in asking these questions because we can never find satisfactory answers. Our curious minds often get the better of us and we are left with a feeling of confusion, doubt, and most damaging a feeling of failure. Because we cannot answer these questions that are beyond us anyhow we feel a sense of defeat or a lack of intelligence, both preposterous presumptions but both very real…

My Balancing Act

“If the world were to end tomorrow would you get wasted?” That was the question that got the table laughing and got a resounding “yes” in response from the others. I had just finished chairing a meeting at Bellevue hospital, speaking to those still in the terrifying grips of this illness so the others would have to excuse me if I didn’t share in their excitement. I wasn’t angered by the question nor did it change my opinion of those who answered it differently from myself. This hypothetical only has one thing to do with this essay: The question compelled me to…

Now is When the Sun Shines Brightest

“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky  Lately, things have been going well. I am turning 32 sometime this afternoon, and I have no idea what to say. I have no idea where I am going and no news on tomorrow. What fascinates me is that even though I have no certainties in my life, I am completely calm. I write, and I do volunteer work – I am not ashamed of my life today, nor should I be. What I have found interesting is that throughout my entire life I always presented…