I exist as I am. That is enough.

“I exist as I am, that is enough, If no other in the world be aware I sit content, And if each and all be aware I sit content. One world is aware, and by far the largest to me, and that is myself, And whether I come to my own today or in ten thousand or ten million years, I can cheerfully take it now, or with equal cheerfulness, I can wait.” – Walt Whitman I have a sickness. At one time I was a sickness, but now I sit with the knowledge of having a sickness. It is something that…

Life Boldly Breaks To Beauty

You are born with pure heart and mind, sound and lovely. For I only know beauty born in reverse – I know beauty after the bloodshed, death, and ghosts. But you know beauty before the plague. You see beauty and love as they exist, unlike me with my gratitude and admiration so necessary. You were born to be beloved – I died to become only a mere fraction of people such as yourself. Do not resist what comes naturally – your nature is not mistaken.  I sit and listen to the rain ricochet off my windows and down to the…

Home

It’s hard to make it home when you’re always on the wrong road As we drove deeper into Brooklyn and away from the madness in Manhattan I asked the driver to drop me several avenues away from my building. I decided I wanted to walk a bit – walking often brings me clarity. As I continued down the sidewalk a smile grew across my face. It was the kind of smile you get when you have just parted ways with the girl you can’t stop thinking about. I felt the rush of the year pass through me and I paused…

Love

It has been some time since I have written anything. This is not due to a lack of inspiration, rather some other things have been on my mind – both newsworthy and not so newsworthy. Certain things are happening that I have strong opinions on – issues that I want to argue over, make my voice heard and point out the fault and misdirection in others. These are the things I want to do when I’m reacting, not thinking. Ultimately, my purpose is not to argue over such matters, especially not here. Instead, I turn to what I know has worked for me:…

Up To Me

“I am not what happened to me; I am what I choose to become.” ― C.G. Jung I cannot recall my first memory. As I scan through my mind and search for memories I find something distinct from any concrete memory. I find a feeling instead; It is an overwhelming sense of fear. I have lived with this fear my entire life and for most of it I have not known what to do with it. I have buried it deep within my soul, drowned it with drink, slept it away. Then it happened one day, as if perfectly choreographed, all…

You Don’t Owe Me Anything

The world does not owe you anything. That is one of the greatest truths I believe I have learned in my life. When I was able to release the notion that I deserved something, that the world had let me down, that somebody ought to come and ‘fix’ me, I was finally able to find something worth living for. Do not be ungrateful! The world has given you life! If you want to change, if you want to make connections with others, and if you wish to live a genuinely fulfilling life, you must go out and create it. Every possibility…

One Memory

“You must know that there is nothing higher and stronger and more wholesome and good for life in the future than some good memory, especially a memory of childhood, of home. People talk to you a great deal about your education, but some good, sacred memory, preserved from childhood, is perhaps the best education. If a man carries many such memories with him into life, he is safe to the end of his days, and if one has only one good memory left in one’s heart, even that may sometime be the means of saving us.”  ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky I do…